Posted by the casting director
Where: Kennebunk Maine
This casting notice was posted on auditionsfree.com
THE UNREAL HOUSEWIVES OF DOWNEAST MAINE Share a glimpse into the lives of 6 feisty DownEast Maine women who work more than one job to make ends meet and support each other’s dreams and aspirations. Their wardrobe is basic – Bean boots, jeans, turtleneck, silk long johns and winter parkas – none of the frilly stuff that gets in the way of “Real Women”!
Stinky Sullivan -During the day she’s an optimist who Owns Black Thumb Gardening and grows chives for her family’s cream cheese business but can’t grow anything else. She once spent $1200 on tulip bulbs only to find that she’d planted them upside down (It took half the summer to pierce the soil after their long trip to China and back!) She hopes one day to turn the world onto the beauty of weeds and has been secretly experimenting with new hallucinating ferns that will produce a pheromone to drive men wild – especially those that cross her path. At night, she’s the Fishwife who cuts bait and dreams of creating her own unique perfume with scents like coffee and basil; Her superior sense of style and panache slightly conflicts with her personal odor which has given her the moniker of “stinky” Sullivan. A generous soul, she arranges the flowers for the local churches and funeral parlors – unfortunately, her eyesight’s been failing and she’s forever putting the wrong tags on the ribbons (Get Well Soon doesn’t quite cut it at a funeral).
Lily White – The serial breakfast cook who burns eggs faster than hens can lay them. She’s a Butterball of cockeyed optimism who enters food contests with her moose recipes and never wins. No worries – she’s resigned to the fact that the lobster business started out this way too and it’s just a matter of time before the rest of the world catches on. The weekends are the focus of her perpetual yard sales that scarcely pay the bills to help complete the nightmare of her home restoration project she’s been working on for the past 15 years. She’s tried using her charm to find a carpenter, painter, plumber and electrician but they usually run screaming from the house after a few days. She is a perfectionist without the perfection-able to dust off the other guy’s dandruff but fails to see the holes in her own sweaters. She’s never seen a ruffle she didn’t like (chip or decorative clothing-wise). She is the Theme Party specialist and would throw an event for a bag opening with her series of concocted schemes to find Mr. Right Now… Her white poodle, Precious, is perpetually dyed to compliment the holidays much to the poor dog’s dismay. Occasionally, she professes to be a “Dog Whisperer” but her unorthodox theory of training leaves much to be desired. All of her get rich quick schemes have exhausted her little nest egg but she’s never discouraged. There’s a new idea just around the corner or ahead of the curve! Most people think she’s been on a dead end road for a very long time…
Susie Q Doosey – The rural postal delivery lady who is part time artist/mussel wreath maker, who keeps pulling over to sketch and never gets around to deliver the mail. She’s all about recycling but she’s the same person that gets tickets for littering! Never shuts lights off or closes doors but she’ll lower the heat down to 50 to save on oil. She’s going thru “the change” and the hot flashes are driving her freeking crazy! She’s got a million remedies for coping with it from all her gal pals but none have stopped her from just about ripping off every shred of clothing at the most un-opportune times…like in church during her grand-daughter’s christening. If you opened her purse you’d find a million mini fans and a ton of batteries to keep her cool, along with cool packs of every shape!
Joey O – The goose down distributor waiting for the big contract with LL Bean someday (but unfortunately has a sad flock of ill quills) and raises alpacas for Irish knit sweaters that she makes hoping to design a line of Irish knit wedding gowns and couture. Certainly not a shrinking violet; she’ll bursts into song at a drop of a hat with a flair for the dramatics that would rival any Broadway heavy. She sings in the church choir but can’t remember the sacred words so she makes up ridiculous lyrics to fake – usually using the town’s gossip (of which she is lead blurter). Ironically, she is a professor at the local community college and teaches etiquette but there’s never a big sign up considering the available audience.
Pearl “BIDDY” White McCoy – The know-it-all cosmetologist for a funeral home that continually gets in trouble for signing her name on her “canvases”. She has a healthy dose of ego and a better case of luck. She has a comfortable life thanks to the 6 husbands she’s married and buried (all legitimately ) including the funeral director she met during one of her husband’s services. Biddy lauds it over her improvised sister Lily on a daily basis. They have a rival that goes back the womb. She’s a religious fanatic with glorious expectations that aren’t ever quite met – if there was a way to be elected Pope without any of that studying religion stuff – she’d apply for the job.
Cindy Smindy – The smart mouthed waitress with an attitude – “I’m here to serve your ass not kiss it” ; “I’m sure your mommy doesn’t want you to write all over this pretty new tablecloth – Do you want me to come to your house and write all over your dolls?” She doesn’t take guff from anyone or anything – She’s pretty savvy with cars and knows exactly where to hip check a stalled truck to get the engine fired up. That’s because she came from a big family of all boys that thought they were smarter, stronger and talented than she was. – They thought wrong! She owns a little jewelry making business called ”Fat Cats” (named after her 2 enormous fat cats) burning the midnight oil hoping someday she’ll create a museum piece- if she could just show the world how beautiful sea glass and sand pebbles are.
Payment: Non Paid
City or Location of call: Kennebunk Maine
Please submit to: firstname.lastname@example.org